i'm trudgin on...

so john from the vocational rehab. services place just left here. he came to look to see whether i would need any assistive technologies and which ones i would need to make taking the classes easier. he asked me right away when he came to my apartment, "have you ever worked with a computer before?" and i tried not to sound agitated by the question when i answered, "yes." then he said, "oh.. well.. good.. so using computers shouldn't be new to you then?" then i said, "NO." then he said, "well, first of all.. we're gonna test your typing speed. do you need any assistance typing? how do you type? do you just use one hand?" and i continued to try not to sound agitated as i answered, "NO.. i use BOTH hands." then he had me go to some site to test my typing speed and i got 28 WPM with 2 errors. so he said, "so i can see that you don't have trouble with your typing speed but i recommend that you move that stuff underneath your computer desk and lower your computer desk since i see that it can be adjusted, so that you'll be able to get closer to the keyboard and type faster." then the guy showed me a site for some pen which records audio as a person is writing, so that i'd be able to take notes while a professor is talking. i said, "yeah.. i had to use a recorder that my grandma bought me when i went to some classes at brown college. i used them for my psychology class. it worked pretty good for that class at least- i couldn't really use the recorder for any other class." then he said, "yeah, see how it helps. i just wish they had this technology when i was in college. heh.. oh well." he just needs to get it approved to be paid for by someone.. i'm not sure who but if it's my stupid fuckin cheap ass insurance, i can ALMOST GUARANTEE that it's NOT getting paid for.. probably not. i dunno how that shit works.
my ils worker was here earlier and she didn't help me pack for camp courage which i'm PRETTY SURE i'll be going to next week. i don't know if i'm leaving on sunday or monday and i don't know if they're coming to my place to pick me up like they did last year for camp. my ils worker wasn't much help either.. she said THE MOST STUPID thing to me.. "well.. don't ask me about camp courage. i'm ONLY an ILS worker from the COURAGE CENTER. i don't know how we're supposed to know anything about that." IT'S CAMP COURAGE. i almost felt like throwing something at her while i said, "IT'S CAMP COURAGE! COURAGE! LIKE THE COURAGE CENTER!" then she said, "well.. yeah.. i suppose. i'll have to see if i have any openings to help you pack before you leave and i'll call you." SOMEONE wasn't present when God was handing out brains. i had an adequately good time when i went to camp last year.. it was just something to do and i didn't make any friends really with any of the other campers but i got along with a few of the councelors. one of the councilors asked me last year if i was coming to camp next year (the last day of camp last year) and i said, "well.. i'll probably be in new york.. so probably not." well, my dumb ass didn't think about or consider how fuckin hard it is to find housing in new york ESPECIALLY. so.. i don't know if she'll be at the camp this year because she might've thought that the other campers were dumb- so she didn't wanna even bother wasting her time? i'm not sure but it makes me seem kinda egotistical of me to say that but the other campers were kinda boring to tell you the truth but they weren't really stupid awful people, so i wouldn't mind going back again.. something to do but this shit is NOT gonna continue year after year (giving people an excuse NOT to look for housing for me).